


Sorry Doesn't Help

by dreamyloner



Series: Fire & Ice [20]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abduction, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Coercion, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Revenge, Rough Sex, Sexual Abuse, Slavery, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 01:42:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13113270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamyloner/pseuds/dreamyloner
Summary: Leon is a popular playboy. Emil is a frequent target of bullies. When they start dating, nothing good is to be expected. Some time after Emil disappears, Leon is abducted by his older brother, Lukas. His endless torture begins.Pairings: Lukas/Leon, Leon/EmilWarnings: violence, abuse, implied rape, revenge, mental breakdown





	Sorry Doesn't Help

**Author's Note:**

> So long for now. I've been extremely busy with work. No, I haven't abandoned this fandom yet. Anyway, here you go. I think this is one of the most messed up things I've ever written. Don't let this ruin your Christmas though XD Reviews appreciated!

He had a head of dishevelled brown hair, the kind that needed immense attention and constant styling. Every strand was silky and polished in a way. His bangs covered his forehead. It created a sort of emo-image. The length was intended for covering up his unusually thick eyebrows, something he had inherited from his British father. His lashes were long and it didn’t help that he had a rather androgynous face. His eyes weren’t as large as Emil’s but they sparkled. They had life in them, so full of emotions even when his lips barely moved. That tiny stream of blood only added more beauty to this pale, gorgeous face. Lukas finally understood why he was a womaniser, a playboy, a major delinquent and his little brother’s heart breaker.

He loathed this face. He wished he could just tear his skin off and hang it on the wall like a painting. Leon’s face made a piece of striking art and speaking of arts, he could chop off his limbs and re-arranged them into a mannequin. That sounded absolutely fantastic.

Nah, he wouldn’t do that. Lukas had another plan in store. Someone as angelic as Leon often possessed an awfully malevolent heart and Lukas vowed to bring that blackened heart out, to rupture it, to crumple it, to burn it into ashes.

Leon had to suffer.

Already, the boy was struggling. His hands were chained behind his back. His mouth was gagged. He was glaring at Lukas with those beguiling dark orbs, full of puzzlement and menace. Lukas kicked Leon hard in the stomach. The boy groaned and collapsed. He almost puked but since he hadn’t had anything for the past twenty hours, nothing spilled out of his mouth but moans. He had been abducted, forcefully taken away and locked up for nearly a day. When he woke up, there was only darkness and pain. He was chained.

Leon didn’t know the young man in front of him. He thought he had seen Lukas somewhere but he couldn’t recall his identity. This man claimed to be a Norwegian and he had fair complexions. An extraordinarily beautiful and nearly translucent face. Stunning indigo eyes that pierced every soul they came across. Pale blond hair clipped with a cross. He had no mercy in his eyes. The sight of blood brought a satisfied smile to his face.

‘Don’t worry,’ said Lukas in his low, monotonous voice. ‘I’m not going to kill you. Death is too good for you.’

Leon wanted to scream. If he could get these chains off his limbs, he could easily tackle this thin male to the ground and beat him into a pulp. Lukas seemed perfectly aware that Leon wasn’t just a flowerpot but a Kung Fu master. He was extremely cautious when he kidnapped him. He had sedated him and injected something into his thigh. Leon couldn't feel his legs at all.

‘Let me see your face,’ demanded Lukas, as he lifted Leon’s chin and examined his bruised face. When he decided that his face wasn’t bloody enough, he slapped him several times. Leon felt his skin splitting. Lukas deliberately attacked his face because he wanted to ruin it so bad. A boy like Leon doesn’t deserve such a deceitful, mesmerising face.

Leon cursed in his mind. ** _What’s wrong with this guy?_**

He struggled and squirmed frantically. Lukas watched in amusement as he poured a bucket of ice-cold water on the Asian boy. Leon’s eyes widened as he shivered. His wounds stung.

‘That’s just a welcoming gift for you,’ said Lukas. ‘I’ll be right back.’

Lukas left the room. Leon could hear the sound of a lock. He wasn’t sure where he was. He could see a bed with frayed sheet, peeled walls, a wooden desk, a chair and a small toilet connected to the room. No windows. That means even if the gag was removed and he screamed, probably nobody could hear it. He could be in the basement. The house could be in a secluded district. There was no way out.

What was Lukas planning to do with him?

Something about Lukas was uncannily familiar. Was he wearing a grey Nordic cardigan? Under normal circumstances, Leon would chuckle and tease him about his odd fashion. There was only a person who wore something like that according to his knowledge.

-

_Leon enjoyed being the centre of attention. When everyone smiled upon seeing him, competed to be the first one to greet him and fawned over him, he found his value to be there. Girls found him irresistible. He was always gentle enough to escort them, to help with small errands and to offer them courageous remarks. He had been trained to be a gentleman. He faked his British accent at school. Girls went crazy when he brushed his bangs or smirked at them. They stuffed his lockers with trinkets, gifts and snacks. Leon, indeed, had no time to read all those letters. He would dump the useless gifts when they weren’t looking. Boys found him admirable too. He could look quite girly sometimes, with that hair style and that face of his. He was talented in music and sports. That gave them even more reasons to idolise him. Not to mention that he played as a vocalist in a band. Sometimes, he sang for a local bar at night. He had everything he wanted. A handsome face. Branded clothes. Outstanding grades. A bunch of friends and followers._

_Everything Emil would die to have._

_Emil was the boy in grey cardigan. His dear brother knitted it for him so he couldn’t refuse to wear it. Everyone teased him about the outdated patterns on his shirt, his messy white hair and eccentric eye colour. He stuttered when he talked. He could never answer the teacher’s questions. He forgot his deadlines and had trouble looking for group mates. He didn’t eat in the canteen. He brought his own lunch box and ate alone on the bench. He dropped things when he walked. He bumped into somebody and went beet red in the face. He never scored when he played basketball. He tripped when he tried football. He ended the conversation as soon as someone started it. Nobody sat with him in class. Nobody bothered to go near him. He was always in the wrong place at the wrong time and they blamed him._

_At that point, Leon was trying to boost his popularity before his latest album was released. His best friend and also cousin, Yong Soo, had a brilliant idea. Usually his ideas didn’t work but this time Leon took it into account._

_‘Do something ridiculous,’ said Yong Soo confidently. ‘People will notice you!’_

_‘Huh?’ Leon remembered frowning at him. It’s not like he wanted to hang out with Yong Soo. This guy had no common sense and he was annoying as hell. But then again, Yong Soo had this beautiful face that resembled a K-Pop star. People loved his homemade Korean music and melodrama. He always dressed in bright colours and eye-catching outfits. As if that wasn’t conspicuous enough, he loved to tell pointless dirty jokes and flirted with girls. Leon couldn’t lose Yong Soo, well, not his popularity which he attributed to his weird hair curl._

_‘Like Alfred,’ said Yong Soo._

_Alfred was another jock at school. A senior as well. He did crazy stuff. Once he chopped off the trees in the school yard and replanted them near the front gate. There was another time he covered the entire school hall with toilet paper during Halloween and released jars of beetles he had stolen from the Biology lab. There were more incidents associated with this shameless, attention-seeking senior._

_And to make things worse, Yong Soo had this inconceivable crush on Alfred._

_‘I don’t-’_

_Leon didn’t really like Alfred. He wasn’t just his senior but also his half-brother, who ran away from home years ago and was now living with his twin, Matthew in a rented apartment. He was partially the reason why Leon suffered at home. His father wanted him to become anything but Alfred._

**_‘He’s a traitor. My greatest disappointment,’ Arthur always said._ **

_Leon didn’t believe it. His father’s favourite son was Alfred. It always would be Alfred no matter how many horrendous mistakes he had made._

_‘Just do something ridiculous,’ suggested Yong Soo. ‘People will get their attention on you.’_

_‘Anything but breaking into the principal’s room and sticking Ivan’s naked photos everywhere,’ grunted Leon._

_‘No, I don’t mean those pranks,’ said Yong Soo. ‘This is not your style anyway.’_

_While Yong Soo was pondering and Leon was busy updating his snapchats, they heard a loud thud._

_There it was again. Emil was being cornered by a few seniors. It wasn’t a fair fight. One against four. Not to mention that Emil never retaliated. He accidentally spilled some noodles on one of the seniors’ shirt. They smashed his head against the wall._

_‘That’s your chance,’ whispered Yong Soo._

_Leon gave him an incredulous and rather confused look. He wanted nothing to do with the bullies._

_‘No, save him,’ said Yong Soo._

_And he wasn’t going to be seen with that ridiculously fragile boy…_

_Ridiculous._

_Wait._

_‘I heard that he’s rich,’ said Yong Soo. ‘He lives alone in a three-storey mansion. His family lives in Norway or Denmark or something. He’s extremely well-off.’_

_Leon gave Yong Soo a disgusted face. He couldn’t understand why someone wealthy would be wearing the same grey cardigan every day._

_‘Maybe he’s too rich for a washing machine at home da-ze,’ said Yong Soo. ‘Or he doesn’t want a maid.’_

_‘Fine.’_

_Leon rolled his eyes and stood up. He stomped towards the four bullies and grabbed them one by one. He kicked down the first one and trampled on his chest. He punched off the second one’s front teeth and flung the third one against the wall. The fourth one made a clever decision to flee but Leon tossed a fork at him. It hit the back of his head and left a long bloody scratch._

_Leon turned back to look at Emil, who was cowering in one corner. His purple eyes were soaked and he was trembling. Leon gave him his hand. Reluctantly, the boy took it._

_‘Are you, like, alright?’ asked Leon. Not that he cared. Everyone was staring at them. They were already gasping in amazement. Some were whispering. Some simply couldn’t take their eyes off this charming fighter who took down four huge seniors in less than a minute._

_Emil nodded and blushed. He didn’t intend to bring so much attention and Leon’s moves were so impressive. He had been watching him from afar- this beautiful oriental. Never in his whole life had he thought he stood a chance to talk to Leon, let alone be saved by him._

_‘Good,’ said Leon. He jammed his hands into his pockets and walked off suavely._

_He never heard how fast Emil’s heart was beating. Because of his touch._

-

Lukas removed the gag. Leon opened his eyes and glared at him.

‘Fuck you,’ he yelled. ‘What the hell do you, like, want from me?’

‘Nothing much,’ said Lukas leisurely. He squatted down next to Leon and traced his fingers along his jaw. Leon tried to dodge but he held his chin firm. ‘Compared to what you did to my dear brother.’

‘Let me go,’ said Leon, though he knew it was impossible.

He remembered what he had done. He never thought it would get him into this mess.

‘Shut up,’ hollered Lukas. He smacked Leon and let him cough up blood on the floor. The night was cold. It was snowing outside but Leon couldn’t tell. Lukas had removed his jacket. He was down to a single shirt. The wet thin fabric adhered to his skin. Water was still dripping from the ends of his hair. His wounds stung a lot.

‘Cold?’ Lukas smirked, enjoying every single second of Leon’s quivering. He had prepared something to warm this boy up a little bit. He left the room and shortly returned with a hot iron. The tip was burning red. Before Leon could say anything, Lukas slammed the iron against his face. Shrieks of agony filled the room, soon followed by whines and tears. His skin burned. Lukas only removed the iron when a large permanent burn scar was engraved on Leon’s right cheek. Torrents of tears trickled past his crimson wound. Leon fell on the ground, sobbing as the extreme pain engulfed him. He passed out.

-

_Leon and Emil started dating. Leon took the initiative of course. Emil could barely believe his luck. He was shy and uncertain at first. He couldn’t get away without blushing like a high-school girl or stammering like a three-year-old. Leon said he was adorable. Nobody had called him that before. Not even his big brother. Well, they went out for dinner, movies and karaoke. They tried out everything a normal couple would. Funfairs. Carnivals. Beaches._

_Everyone was appalled. The girls wept in disappointment and glared at Emil enviously. The boys looked at Emil with distain and believed Leon was bewitched. They were doing everything to get Leon out of the relationship._

_Yet, Leon got what he wanted. Attention._

_Students from other high schools in the neighbourhood knew about him and followed his page. He would upload videos and pictures of him and Emil. They would lament how an appealing guy like him was going out with someone so mundane. The girls called them Beauty and the Beast._

_Emil wasn’t ugly. He just had a baby face that was unhealthily pale and unattractive. Leon found it tolerable, if he had to keep up with this amount of popularity._

_Emil was sweet in every possible way. People would think Leon was being the perfect boyfriend here, but it was the other way round. He successfully moved into Emil’s multimillion dollar mansion. Emil would do anything to please him, to keep him in his life. He would agree to Leon’s every command. He didn’t need anything but Leon, because he was the sole person who accepted him, cherished him and loved him._

_He bought him clothes. He gave him the latest iphone model. He spent the pocket money he received from his brother on a new Benz, because Leon wanted one to show off when they drove to school. He even gave Leon a credit card to shop whenever he felt down._

_As long as Leon stayed beside him, hugged him, kissed and touched him, he would do anything to fulfil his needs and cravings._

_Six months. That’s all it lasted. Those six months were the most blissful moments in Emil’s 17-year life._

_Leon wasn’t as gentle as he appeared to be. He had his fits sometimes. When he got emotional, he would yell pretty harsh things at Emil. He would throw tantrums and ignore Emil. Emil would sob and beg for him to stay. Leon seemed to enjoy this. He loved the fact that Emil couldn’t survive without him, just like every one of his fans. Whenever they argued, he would pretend to enter a state of depression and wait for Emil to appease him. When he was in a good mood, he would whisper flirtatious words to Emil to embarrass him and stroke him to get him excited. It was always Leon who decided which one to top or bottom in sex. Emil would always listen to his request, even when he suggested trying out bondage that one time and Emil ended up getting bruises everywhere. Still, as long as Leon stayed, he would do anything._

-

‘That silly brother of mine,’ sighed Lukas. ‘He could do anything for your love, even sacrificing his own life.’

At this point, Leon felt numb. His eyes ran out of tears. He could only stare at Lukas blankly. Lukas had cleaned him with cold water and stripped him. He was video-taping, recording every single second of his humiliation.

Bruises and scratches scattered over his body. He couldn’t feel anything for his legs. Lukas had broken one of his arms when he tried to steal the key. His face was scarred and swollen.

Three days. He was starting to lose it.

Lukas stabbed him with a syringe. Leon bit his bottom lip in pain. The liquid filled his body with heat. He was burning. His heart was racing and he felt…aroused.

‘No…’

‘Yes, we’ll capture this beautifully degrading moment,’ said Lukas as he fixed the camera and walked towards Leon, who was now breathing hard. He wanted to touch himself but his hands were cuffed. His length was rock hard, twitching.

‘Please…’ he managed to mumble.

It was leaking.

‘How filthy,’ said Lukas. ‘You think I’ll touch you with my hand?’

He stood next to Leon’s wiggling body and stepped on his length hard. Leon moaned loudly as Lukas’s boot came in contact with his manhood, rubbing against it brutally.

‘And to think that this hideous thing was once inside my brother’s body, it makes my blood boil,’ growled Lukas and he kept trampling on Leon’s rod.

‘Please! I’m sorry!’ cried Leon.

‘Please what?’

‘Just…do it. I’m, like, so sorry…’

‘Sorry for what?’ asked Lukas.

‘Please…’ pleaded Leon. He couldn’t hold it much longer. It was tormenting. He squeezed his eyes shut. He heard the buckle of the belt and some shuffling. Lukas had stopped stamping on him. When he opened his eyes again, he was met with Lukas’s cold glistening eyes. Without any warning, Lukas thrust himself into his body. The pain tore him apart. The lack of preparation caused him to bleed. Lukas had no intention to stop, however. He picked up his speed and began to bump into Leon’s thin body erratically. Leon screamed and scratched Lukas’s arm with his unbroken left hand. His eyes brimmed with tears. Lukas kept ramming into him until a small puddle of blood was formed below his shuddering body. Leon’s screams were reduced to pleasurable moans that only fuelled Lukas with more wraths. He would do anything to prevent Leon from basking in it. He bent down to bite Leon’s nipples. The boy cried and thrashed his hand. Lukas pinned him down completely and plunged himself deep inside him. He wouldn’t stroke Leon’s throbbing length regardless of how he pleaded and begged.

Tears drenched his face. Leon didn’t care if his wounds were stinging and getting infected. He just wanted a release.

His hole was twitching. It was bleeding. Squeezing around Lukas’s length. He came inside him, filling his inside to its brims. Following Lukas’s release, Leon moaned and climaxed. He was left huffing and sobbing on the ground as Lukas cleaned himself, stood back up and put on his pants.

The blood stained the ground and Lukas decided to clean Leon later. Maybe a couple of hours later. That would be great.

He could keep writhing in tears and pain.

-

_Emil found the videos and pictures. All of them involved him naked in bed. They never showed Leon’s face._

_‘Why…Why would you do that?’ He was trembling as he said that._

_Leon gave him a curious look and shrugged. ‘What do you, like, mean?’_

_‘Why did you…take those videos…’_

_‘Oh,’ said Leon casually. ‘Just personal interests. Stop snooping about my room.’_

_‘What about the boy you hung out with last night?’ asked Emil anxiously. ‘I saw you coming out of the bar with him. You wrapped your arm around his-’_

_‘Shut up, would ya?’ said Leon, not bothering to look up from his mobile phone. ‘He’s just a friend. Like, get me a cup of hot coco.’_

_‘And it’s not just about last night…’ stammered Emil. He fiddled with his fingers and stared at the ground. ‘You always take intimate photos with those girls…and you even kiss them…’_

_‘I was drunk,’ defended Leon._

_‘What about Yong Soo? You two went into the hotel earlier on!’_

_‘Were you, like, stalking me?’ Leon finally turned to glance at Emil._

_‘No…’_

_Leon stood up and pushed Emil against the wall. Emil cringed and stifled his cry. Leon kissed him hard, plunging his tongue into his mouth. Emil couldn’t resist it. He melted into that passionate kiss._

_‘You know I have needs, bae’ said Leon when they broke the kiss, both panting. ‘It’s an old habit.’_

_‘Don’t you love me?’ asked Emil, his eyes glittering with tears._

_‘Of course I do,’ said Leon as he burrowed his face in Emil’s crook of neck. He planted soft kisses on the weeping boy._

_‘Then please, don’t go out with someone else.’_

_‘Can’t do, sorry,’ muttered Leon. He looked at Emil seriously. ‘You know what I’m like. As much as I love you, I love my fans as well. I can’t, like, settle for one guy, especially not you.’_

_That line broke Emil. His heart was snapped into two. Leon went back into his room and continued with his own business. Emil stayed in the sitting room. He sat on the couch and curled himself up into a ball. His sobs echoed in the house all night long._

-

It became a routine. Lukas would come around in the morning, woke up him with a kick or a smack on the face. He would dump the porridge on the ground and asked Leon to crawl like a dog. Leon, always starving, would rush towards the food. Lukas would then step on it until it was nothing but a filthy mess. Still, Leon would gobble down the meal, whatever it was. Lukas would hold a glass of water in the air and pour it down. Leon would lift his head and open his mouth, drinking like a thirsty pet.

Days passed and soon weeks went by. Leon had long lost track of time. He stopped thinking. He stopped feeling things. He only recognised hunger and thirst. Sometimes, Lukas would forget to come and he would stay in that dark room, rotting and humming to himself. Sometimes, Lukas was in a better mood and he would bring him some meat. He was now nothing but a skeleton. His face shone no more. His eyes were hollow. His skin was pale and filled with scars. Old and raw. It didn’t hurt as much as before, when Lukas whipped him, kicked him, smashed him with glasses and scraped him with sharp objects. Once, he carved the word ‘slut’ on his chest while banging him. He felt nothing but pleasure. He had gotten used to Lukas’s length. He seldom bled now. It was warmer when they were having sex. Lukas’s heat surrounded him. He wouldn’t shiver like he usually did when he was left alone and naked in the room.

‘Beg for it,’ said Lukas. He was holding a plate of spaghetti. It was Christmas and he decided to go lenient with Leon.

‘Please,’ said Leon automatically. He was used to begging.

‘Not enough.’

Leon crawled towards him and hugged his left leg.

‘Lick it.’ Lukas held out his left foot. The boy bent down and licked his boot clean. Satisfied with his work, Lukas dumped the hot spaghetti directly on him. It burnt, but Leon didn’t seem to care. He gratefully started eating the food he was offered. Lukas spilled the soup on the floor. Leon bent down and licked it desperately.

‘Yea, eat like a dog,’ said Lukas. ‘Remember that you’re a pet.’

Leon didn’t say anything. He finished the meal and licked the sauce off his skin.

‘Crawl to the bed,’ commanded Lukas. ‘I’ll give you your Christmas present.’

Leon blinked at Lukas speechlessly. He didn’t move.

‘What’s wrong? Don’t you want a gift? I bet you received one every Christmas. Your father always gave you one.’

Leon opened his mouth but nothing came out. Lukas only smirked. He knew Arthur had broken and twisted the boy quite a lot when he was still a child. As a result, he grew up to be a rather messed up delinquent. Always toying with people’s hearts. Incapable of sympathising with others. Fond of taking advantages of people and doing everything to make himself succeed.

‘Thought you used to ride on your daddy’s dick,’ said Lukas. ‘Don’t you miss that?’

Leon frowned. He began to shudder as haunting memories returned.

‘How dirty and low. You know nobody wants you. So you have to mess around and bed everyone. Nobody wants a filthy, unsightly thing like you.’

Lukas kicked Leon’s chin. The boy fell over and stared plainly at the ground. Tears clouded his eyes and they didn’t come out. He would get beaten if he cried. Just like how it used to be when he was a child.

-

_Arthur wanted a son who was obedient, intelligent and successful. Alfred was just perfect. He had a brain. He knew exactly how to please him with words. He had Arthur’s hair and a monkey’s energy. He achieved everything Arthur wanted him to. He was his ultimate pride._

_But he lacked one thing- loyalty._

_He couldn’t stay beside Arthur. He rebelled against him and ran away._

_That was Arthur’s greatest regret in life._

_His second son, Matthew, stayed. But he wasn’t as successful as Alfred. Arthur often overlooked and forgot him. He couldn’t comfort him when Alfred left. Soon, he followed Alfred and left home._

_Arthur took Leon forcibly away from his mother. He trained him. He educated him. He moulded him. He made sure he could succeed like Alfred but wouldn’t dare go against him. To do that, he would punish him when he made the tiniest mistake. He would lock him up when he disobeyed him. He would do everything to establish his authority at home. As a child, Leon spent most of his time studying and learning manners. He was home-schooled until he was thirteen and at that point, he had no idea what Arthur did to him was utterly warped. The man would sneak into his room at night and did unimaginable stuff to him. He would mix him up with Alfred while they were doing it. He was treating him as a substitute. A replacement. He loved Alfred. He did things to Leon what he would have done to Alfred._

_And Leon endured everything silently until he was sent to a private boarding school as a teenager. He no longer piqued Arthur’s interest. There, he met his first bunch of friends and began to notice the benefits brought by his appearance and education. He wanted love but at the same time distrusted it. Arthur loved him only when he was making him proud. He loved the feeling of having a good son. The body that he craved for always belonged to Alfred._

_When he was fourteen, Leon realised that sex was what lovers did. He had done it countless times with Arthur and yet he never knew what it meant. He thought he was being punished, or loved, or both. He had sex with Yong Soo and they stayed as friends with benefits for quite a while. Over the years, he had gone out with various girls and boys alike. He never found what he was looking for. There was always a gap in his heart yearning to be filled. No matter how many likes he got on his facebook, how many followers he had in his instagram and how many people kissed his photos, he felt…hollow. When Emil said he would die for him, he never took it seriously. Nobody would do that. Not Arthur. Not Yong Soo. Not even himself._

_He knew one day Emil would grow tired of him just like Arthur did so he decided to play hard-to-get. Tormenting Emil turned him on. Somebody was suffering because of his love. How sweet._

-

Lukas came for the second time in Leon’s body. The boy lay on the bed numbly. His eyes wandered. They no longer connected with Lukas.

‘Leon?’

Leon didn’t respond. There was a faint smile on his face. He was drifting, somewhere, in those long concealed memories of his.

Lukas’s lips were soft. They felt just like Emil’s.

That day, he got home and received Emil’s last call. They had broken up. Leon spent Emil’s money on stock investment and was able to earn ten times as much. He was able to afford a house of his own. Emil had no more use for him. He moved out, despite Emil’s pleas. Emil cried. He even kneeled down to and begged for him to stay. Leon only took a glimpse of his undignified sobbing face and left without another word.

He went clubbing with Yong Soo, met more girls, had sex with some handsome boys, went on a shopping spree to fill the emptiness in his heart and continued the cycle until he ran out of money. When that happened, he would blackmail Emil with those videos and requested another sum transferred to his bank account. He knew Emil would still do anything for him.

Everything ended with that call.

Emil left his last goodbye and jumped into the river.

He fulfilled his promise.

He had died for him.

-

The door was smashed open with an axe. Lukas bounced up and whirled around. Emil was holding the axe, huffing. Mathias was right next to him, staring at Lukas in astonishment.

Leon lay inanimately on the bed, his eyes gazing into space unblinkingly.

‘Emil?’ Lukas gasped. ‘Aren't you supposed to be in hos-’

Emil survived the fall, but everyone thought he had drowned.

Lukas and Mathias flew from Norway to London to take care of him. They cried and mourned for nights. That was until Lukas discovered the cause of his brother’s attempted suicide. His sorrow turned into rage.

‘What did you do?’ yelled Emil as he hurried to Leon. His eyes widened when he saw the battered body. ‘Lukas! Why would you do that?’

‘He deserved it,’ said Lukas calmly.

‘Lukas, I can’t believe this,’ said Mathias as he stepped into the room and dragged Lukas away.

‘I’d have killed him!’ bawled Lukas.

‘What did you do to him?’ cried Emil. He went to embrace the broken boy and glared at his own brother. ‘How could you even do this?’

‘He hurt you,’ said Lukas, balling his hands into fists. Mathias kept Lukas away and shook his head.

‘Leon!’ Emil shook the boy, who no longer responded to anything. ‘Answer me, Leon!’

Leon tilted his head and stared at Emil curiously.

Then, a relieved smile appeared on his face.

-

Leon regained his consciousness. He was in a different room, lying in a clean, comfortable bed. His wounds were all patched up. His broken arm was wrapped in gypsum. Next to the bed, Emil sat apprehensively. Upon seeing him awake, he beamed and brushed Leon’s bangs.

‘How’re you feeling?’ Emil’s voice quavered. He couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. When he was in coma, all he could dream of was Leon. He wondered if Leon ever dreamt of him when he was away.

He knew Leon didn’t actually love him. Maybe there was a slight moment that he did, but he only wanted him for his wealth. Still, he enjoyed Leon’s company. Together, they had shared some unique memories. They had laughed together. They had argued and reconciled. They had cried and hurt each other. Leon wouldn’t have protected him if he never once harboured any feelings towards him.

Leon didn’t speak. He just stared at Emil blankly. Emil helped him sit up and gave him a glass of warm water. Leon drank in silence.

‘I’m so sorry for what Lukas did to you…’ Emil apologised. ‘It’s my fault. If you decide to call the police, I won’t stop you. If you want to kill me, go ahead.’

Leon finished the glass of water and looked around. He couldn’t see Lukas anywhere. He wasn’t even chained up. It was…abnormal.

He looked down at the bandages and gypsum. He then glanced at Emil.

‘Leon?’

Leon reached out to stroke Emil’s face, like a newborn reaching out for the first thing his eyes came across. It was then Emil realised something was terribly wrong.

‘Leon?’ he called again.

Still no response.

He touched Leon’s scarred hand. Leon smiled faintly and said no more.

In fact, he never spoke a word again.

Lukas had got his revenge. He had broken the boy beyond repair. Now he could think and speak no more.

He stayed with Emil in his house. He listened to whatever Emil said. When Arthur and Yong Soo found him, he couldn’t respond at all. Mathias told them Leon had got into a traumatising accident that permanently damaged his senses. They found it hardly believable at first but when Leon failed to justify anything, they had to believe Mathias, who was coincidentally a doctor. Lukas got away with his crime but he would forever be seeking Emil’s forgiveness.

Another Christmas. Emil got into a prestigious university. He was doing his Bachelor degree. He came home gleefully with groceries and Christmas ornaments. He had decorated the house. Leon was watching TV when he entered the living room. The boy was staring at the screen motionless.

‘I’m home,’ said Emil as he placed the groceries on the desk. Leon glimpsed him with a faint smile.

Emil went around the desk and hugged Leon from behind. He gave him a swift kiss on the cheek. The boy kept staring at the TV.

‘I’ll be making dinner,’ said Emil. ‘What do you think of a turkey for Christmas?’

He took Leon’s silence as a nod.

‘Don’t worry. I’ve got you some of your favourite dim sum as well,’ said Emil. ‘We’ll have a feast!’

Leon hummed and lay down on the couch.

‘If you’re going to take nap, get a blanket.’

Emil draped a blanket over Leon. ‘You’ll catch a cold if you just sleep like that.’

Another faint smile.

Emil wanted to cry, but he couldn’t, not when Leon was smiling at him.

He wanted him to talk. To answer his questions. To respond.

But no, he would only smile back at his every word.

Was this what he had always wanted?

A boyfriend who depended on him. A lover who only saw him in his eyes. A partner who would stay with him forever and do whatever he said. Someone who couldn’t survive without him.

It wasn’t Leon anymore. This boy in front of him was just a shell of who he used to love and indulge in.

Emil kneeled beside the couch and wrapped his arms around Leon. He was still breathing. His heart was still beating. He was still living. For him and only him.

That was enough.

‘It’s my turn to protect you,’ whispered Emil. ‘I’ll love and cherish you forever.’

Leon closed his eyes and buried his face in Emil’s chest.

For once, he felt incredibly warm and reassured at Christmas.

He felt as if he was in heaven.

 

 


End file.
